House arrest? Why am I doing this to me?

As an introvert, I am doing things that are unhealthy for me. House arrest? Me? Why am I doing this? 

I am not a prisoner, why do I treat myself as one?

I am not even sick with diseases that keeps me from going out but I am indoor.

House arrest? Why am I doing this to me?
House arrest? Why am I doing this to me?

Today is Friday, 8th day of September, 2017. I have being indoor for the past few days.

Well, since when on Monday though. I went out on Wednesday for a meeting.

Last night while I was in the bathroom, I started thinking of this “bad” act I have.

I will do end up with this, “I am an introvert after all. This is okay.”

It is not okay. It is not even 10% okay at all.

Being an introvert doesn’t mean I should act like a prisoner in my house. It is a bad thing.

House arrest? Why am I doing this to me?

House arrest? Why am I doing this to me?
House arrest? Why am I doing this to me?

Just thinking about people who are in prison, they would want freedom if given an opportunity to choose.

So, why am I acting like I want to be them?

Irrespective of what crimes they might have committed, they would love to have freedom.

I have that freedom but I am not using it.

Why? I am an introvert.

No! No! And No!

I am not a prisoner. I shouldn’t be on house arrest.

No one is stopping me from going out. The sky is blue and beautiful, why am I indoor?

Last I checked, you don’t even have to pay to step out of your house.

But here I am, in my house with no sign of contact with things around me.

I keep asking myself, why I am doing this?

One can have quiet time in the park. Even on a bus!

I don’t have to draw energy by being indoor all day.

This is unhealthy! Very unhealthy and it got to stop!

I am not one of the people who are on house arrest.

I am not one of these people:

People in prison: No, I have my freedom. I should use my freedom. There are movies showing in cinemas I see. I can even learn a new skill. My meals are dictated by me. Why as like a prisoner? Do I not know they want to be free too?

Some Sick people: No, I am very healthy. I am young. I’ve got an eagle’s strength. So why am I indoor? Do these people wished they should be indoor? I saw this movie, Everything, Everything, Such a great movie. Nicola Yoon did published a good book. The storyline is beautiful! At the end, the girl with terminal disease went out of the house because she wanted to. She didn’t care of her illness. If she can do this, how much more me, who is not sick.

Psychiatric patients: I mean, it is dangerous for these people to be roaming around the streets. They could injure themselves or other people. I am not of a potential threat to myself or the community. So, why am I doing this? Why am I indoor?

I could go on with the list but stopping there. I am not happy those people are in the position that they are.

But this isn’t me. My case is not of one those listed above and I am still indoor.

Do I wish to be one of those people?

Do I? Am I really a prisoner? Am I sick? 

I am not all that. I am not even close to that.

This life I want is a beautiful one. A life of filled with people, with love, with happiness and lastly, with freedom.

I don’t want to be one of those people. I want freedom and the only person keeping me away from the freedom I desire is me. 

House arrest? I want freedom!
House arrest? I want freedom!

There is so much joy in living freely irrespective of one’s personality.

I don’t have house arrest bracelet or house arrest band.

I shouldn’t be indoor 24/7

No, in fact, I should be using the freedom I have.

What’s keeping from being free? 

Many things. Life experiences.

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